Entry #27: "Conflicting Interests"

I'm well aware that I have absolutely no readers, so apologizing for a long gap between entries (and the low quality of more recent entries) is totally unnecessary - but I still feel obligated to apologize for how infrequently I post nowadays.
I have lots of shit tied up at the moment. I started working on my own tabletop RPG, I've been hanging out with friends more often, I'm considering starting a comic strip, and most importantly - I'm going to plan on driving again and having my own car for the first time in over 2 years. One problem is that driving would mean a couple hundred more dollars I'd have to spend monthly, and it really makes me consider taking a second job. The larger problem is that it seems in no way whatsoever could my second job be something I actually fucking enjoy, because of the simple corporate idea of "conflicting interest." I can't work at any other grocery retailer, I'm limited in working for any food distributers, samplers, gas stations, or health food stores. If my second job, in any way, appears to benefit another grocery retailer then it will ultimately lead to me choosing one job or the other.
This pisses me the fuck off. I found a craigslist listing about a job sampling organic foods: this shit would be totally boss. If I sampled organic foods, chances are I'd be learning about products and I could apply that information to my personal life and my job in produce. I would be paid to engage in conversation with people about foods that I'd probably eat myself - just like in produce. The whole issue of "conflicting interests" in this case was questionable, because I wouldn't be working for any one specific store - rather I'd be traveling between grocers in the Cleveland and Akron areas. The pay would rule, the title would rule, and the level and nature of my customer interaction would rule.
But guess fucking what? Apparently corporate considers the job "conflicting interests" and bars me off from applying for this second job. See, I understand the concept of "conflicting interests:" if you're engaged in your company's sales then it would cancel out if you're supporting a competitor simultaneously. The major flaw in this logic is, though: I don't give a fuck about my company's interests. It's not as though I purposely try and undermine my store's sales, but I get absolutely nothing concrete out of caring. On an abstract level, you could argue that if the store had higher sales then there would be more hours available for every department - which is false, my particular store being a shining example on the contrary. The store manager at my particular store gives out as many hours to the produce department as similar stores that make 40 grand less every week. Hours are entirely at the whim of the store manager and his/her degree of greediness. If he/she feels that he/she can get a larger bonus based upon how few hours he/she hands out without compromising the store's sales and that bonus - then it's based entirely on whether or not the store manager wants to help out his/her employees or would rather opt being a greedy dickhole.
You know, if I was a store manager I would care about the "best interests of the company" (although profits shouldn't be the only interests) - but I'm not a store manager, or any manager for that matter. I go to my job and do it well, without any vocal complaints or problems: this is all that should be asked. I'm not a fucking salesperson, I don't sense any sort of communal connection to my store, and I'm not doing cheers or chants like if I was working at Wal-Mart. Fuck this shit so hard. I was so stoked on possibly getting this second job.

So when I asked the woman working in human relations I informed her that the job would most likely be sampling through places like Whole Foods, Zagaras, and Mustard Seed. I noted that it would more than likely not have any sort of affiliation with Trader Joes. So guess what? When she comes back to tell me that the job would be "conflicting interests" according to corporate, she pointed out that it's possible I could be affiliated with Trader Joes. Did you not fucking listen? Is it because I'm some uneducated produce guy? Derp derp? Have you ever even been in a Trader Joes, or even more surprisingly - has anybody that talked to you from corporate ever been in a Trader Joes? The employees there do everything from cashiering and stocking, and more than likely the sampling; yes, the samplers are in-store workers and not paid through any separate employer. Not only that, but the majority of products in Trader Joes are store brand - and therefor aren't products that would be sampled at multiple different grocers.

What irks me about the concept of "conflicting interests" is its shortsightedness and its simplicity. You know, the customer base at my workplace is definitely not the same customer base as Whole Foods. You're ignorant as fuck if you think that shoppers at Whole Foods are thinking, "Oh man, I wonder if _______ has this product - I'll definitely pay less to go somewhere with a far worse organic, animal-friendly, and gluten-free selection and much lower quality products!" If the customers have the money to shop at places like Whole Foods or Mustard Seed, they're obviously going to either for quality or their organic selections - things of which my company could never compare. Hell, my workplace doesn't even carry tempeh or seitan - let alone tons of other common specialty products. You know, I was talking to managers at my old location and I asked them about the Super Wal-Mart that opened and whether or not it hurt the store's sales - apparently the loss in sales was less than 5%. Less than 5%, from fucking Super Wal-Mart.

There are definitely three main customer bases: people who want shit dirt cheap who don't care whatsoever about its quality, customers who want to shop at a pro-union workplace that supports local businesses, and customers who have the money to buy whatever the fuck they want and just care about quality or their health. My workplace definitely fits into the second category. Whole Foods isn't any more of a threat than Wal-Mart is.

But no, shit has to be boiled down to the simple idea of "conflicting interests" and just as long as something can be categorized as another grocery retailer or in any way affiliated with one - regardless of vast differences in customer bases, quality, or selection - then it's barred off. Thank you corporate for not knowing fuck about anything.