Entry #35: Health Pt.3

One of the worst arguments flying around is that obesity is solely the result of personal irresponsibility. Glenn Beck even jumped on this train recently, and many conservative paundits get outraged at comments like Michelle Obama's suggesting that the food industry should do more to make its products healthier - the common misconception that by regulating the food industry the government is ultimately limiting our choices and deciding what we eat. "I want to be able to order a big, juicy steak when I go out!" It seems as though most Americans, conservatives in particular, believe that the average American is totally capable of making informed dietary decisions. They think it's as simple as, "don't eat too many Twinkies or Big Macs," or "spend more time at the gym to work off the calories."

This is total fucking shit. People are fucking idiots when it comes to nutrition. People are even bigger fucking idiots when it comes to fruits and vegetables. To cite an example, I worked as a janitor for about half a year at one point. I was talking to my manager and it somehow got brought up that I'm a vegetarian. She told me I probably eat lots of healthier things, like veggie pizzas. Fucking veggie pizzas: healthy. Most people think they're doing themselves a service putting a slice of iceberg and tomato on a quarter pound burger. Another example is how many people think vegetarianism and veganism are healthy. I've been around vegans for around a decade, and it's insane how many people honestly think they're eating healthier - and it surprises me even more that so many fucking people who aren't vegetarian think it's healthier. Granted I am vegetarian, I do aknowledge that it's for political reasons and I don't kid myself into thinking it's for ethical or dietary reasons. The healthiest people are pescetarians.

The worst examples I can think of are how many people think they're eating healthy by having granola bars and vitamin water. People eat that shit up. The worst people are the ones who think they're going on some diet by cutting carbs, or the people who think salads are the only healthy things to eat. So many fucking people seem to use that as an excuse, saying they can't eat healthy because they don't like salads. I know they're somewhat saying it in jest - but who knows the reaches of most peoples' idiocy.

As far as a lack of knowledge about fruits and vegetables? I had a customer just a few days ago ask me what's wrong with the Fuji apples. What is this shithead talking about? I walk over to the organic apples and they all look fine. Walking to the back room I realize what she must've been thinking: the organic apples aren't coated with wax, so they're not as shiny and smooth. What fucking idiot has never seen an apple on a tree before and honestly and sincerely thinks that apples are supposed to be shiny?
You know what's also pretty bad? I was in a local Heinens recently and they had golden beets - which made me stoked as hell. The problem is that the workers cut the leaves off of all the beets. That makes them go bad quicker, you fucking morons! The problem was only heightened by the fact that they were organic beets and have a shorter shelf life regardless. All of the beets were soft, and half of them I could poke my finger through if I applied a little pressure.
A couple weeks back I had a customer who told me I wouldn't be proud of our radishes. I continued doing my work, because I knew the dude was probably full of shit. He proceeded to put his grapes back and leave out of anger. After he left I decided to see if his concerns were actually justified, and you know what the problem was? The leaves on the radishes were a little - ripe. Does this fat old fuck even realize that you don't eat the leaves, and more than half of the times the leaves are slightly dingy on arrival.
There are also plenty of customers that also think oranges are the best source of vitamin C (eat some parsley, dude!), or bananas are the only good source of potassium. I had one customer come in asking if we had riper bananas, because she has a potassium deficiency and needed a quick source of potassium. You know what's a good source of potassium? Look around you, you fucking broad. Nearly anything in the produce department is a good source of potassium - it's not as though you'll be screwed if you don't have bananas.

The average American consumer knows jack shit about nutrition, because most of them believe they can go to the gym or take some pharmaceutical and miraculously patch up their poor decisions. What a surface level opinion for professionals on news stations to have. Diet isn't that simple and the average American is not capable of making their own well informed decisions, nor is it necessarily their fault if they're overweight or obese.
This is one of the worst opinions commonly held by most Americans - both professional or not, but of course it's too difficult for most Americans to understand any issue from a perspective other than that of personal choice. Obesity is a multi-layered issue that has societal, cultural, and fiscal factors and people need to quit treating it like it's on the shoulders of the consumer.
There needs to be some outside force coming in to intervene - whether it be the government enforcing more regulation the food industry or the food industry itself coming together to make one massive effort. But, unfortunately, we're going to continue to have people bitch about any sort of intervention impeding on their freedom of choice. Fucking nonsense.

Entry #34: 9/11

So just a few days ago a customer gave me a newspaper ad and asked about a sale. I looked to see if I could still honor the sale, but saw that the dates of the sale were September 9th through September 11th. Unfortunately the sale was over and I had to explain to the customer, and luckily the customer wasn't a total dick and didn't try arguing against it.

A few moments later I realized the humor in a sale on September 11th. Now I know the sale wasn't because of September 11th, but rather the sale had to do with football season.
I imagined how hilarious a sale centered around September 11th would be:

Shop until the towers drop!
While you're remembering America - remember to come in and buy your bananas from Costa Rica, your avocados from Mexico, and your apples from New Zealand!

There could be television commercials where some happy stick figure piloting a plane is smiling and waving as it hits a building with a huge "$2.99" marquee, and then the words "$.99 EACH" flashes across the screen in some cartoon explosion.

Shit could get totally bananas, and I'd love to see America sink so low to make any sale.
Fuck, instead of a lemonade stand I should set up an American flag stand in some public place next September 11th. I could sell tons of other shit - like red, white and blue cupcakes, and advertise them as "freedom cupcakes." I could imagine making shit mounds of money off of fat, motorized cart driving fucks. On the topic of pieces of shit, I totally saw some teabagger earlier today driving a Volkswagon - and a new one at that!
So you're totally pro-America and a total devotee to the spirit of capitalism and the free market, yet you're buying a new German car while you're living in FUCKING CLEVELAND? Cleveland has a fucking Ford plant and a Chevy plant. You're contributing to lost jobs, lost wages, lost benefits, our city's economic collapse, etc. You know, Ford used to offer wonderful benefits. For example, I remember being a kid and my dad having a choice of dozens upon dozens of optometrists who would accept my father's health insurance. What happened when I got to be a 19 year old college student? My dad's insurance only covered one optometrist in the greater Cleveland area. Nowadays every new worker getting hired in at Ford gets completely stiffed on health coverage. I'm a fucking produce guy making a third of their wages and even I get more coverage than them.
In conclusion, I would've shit on that woman's windshield if it was late at night and I wasn't apprehensive of getting caught.

As I continue to rail along tangents: speaking of teabaggers, I was watching FOX news earlier. Even though I disagree with the bulk of the opinions presented on FOX, I can sometimes respect O'Reilly and he can present reasonable arguments on certain topics (although horrible arguments on others, like food and health).
There was this story about a video of an irate volunteer meter maid down in Florida. I guess the backstory is that some woman tried to park in a spot for a second, without paying, before she decided whether or not she wanted to go in somewhere (I'm guessing she was checking the store hours or something. I could easily google the exact details, but fuck it!). The guy was a dick to her, so she sent her husband - who recorded his interactions with the meter guy on his cellphone.
I was totally shocked when FOX news actually sided with the volunteer meter guy - saying that if the couple was unhappy they should've talked a higher authority. What the fuck? Then they used an analogy saying that it's like trying to deal with hoodlums yourself instead of calling the cops. Again, what the fuck?
I've already discussed this before: you're a total dick if you're going to a "higher authority" to try and get somebody into trouble. The guy would've lost his volunteering position (even though I think he did anyway, because of the video?) if you went straight to his boss. Again, you're a piece of shit if you're trying to make somebody lose a job or position. Refer to one of my previous posts.

Entry #33: Juicing

Above is a picture of one of the most badass dudes to ever exist: Jack LeLanne. It's unfortunate that he thinks organic food is a scam, but at least he's a strong advocate of juicing and vegetarianism and a strong opponent of processed foods. You know who else rules and was a strong supporter of juicing? Fucking Max Gerson. I'd add the Juiceman to this list, but I'd already be a target of criticism from the mention of Max Gerson by every boring asshole out there who watches Penn and Teller's Bullshit and medical drama shows that should have "bullshit" tacked onto the end of their names. The AMA is probably already contacting the FBI to send somebody out to beat me with a nightstick and flash a Neuralyzer across my face.

Back on topic, juicing rules - but it's a total ripoff if you don't do it yourself. Places that juice, including Robeks, charge somewhere in the area of five dollars for a simple fucking juice with two or three ingredients.
So what do I like to juice? Beets, carrots, celery, peaches, apricots, ginger, chard, and apple - not all necessarily in the same juice. Unfortunately my juicer sucks a lot of rod, so I don't juice too many greens or herbs - otherwise I'd be juicing more spinach, parsley, cilantro, etc.
The best juice I've made so far? Golden beets, carrot, ginger, and apricot. Fucking sunrise; throw some fucking buckwheat pancakes off to the side and it's a breakfast of nutritionally sound asskickers.

Whenever somebody tells me they juice I immediately think more highly of them. Unfortunately I don't have any stories about customers to relate to this topic.

Entry #32: Health Pt.2

So I recently started doing something in the last couple months that I would've never foreseen years ago: I started going to the fucking gym. I used to get all my excercise from basketball and later biking - but now basketball would only be an option on my days off, and my bike is still waiting to be fixed.
What am I pissed off about now, exactly? Well, it'd be a fair assumption to think I'm pissed about fucking meatheads trying to convince me to eat lean meats and drink whole milk, or push powerbars - but that's not the case this time. In fact, only once did some fuckface who's not employed at the gym try and inquire about my dietary habits. I told the dude that I was running fucking empty on the treadmill and he asked about what I ate: I told him that I ate some cabbage and noodles, some apples, and some water. He told me I needed to eat some chicken and gave me a lecture on protein, while I ignored him and walked out of the gym listening to Cro-Mags.
The whole issue about the gym pisses me off is the popular opinion held by most Americans that caters directly to the food industry - you can eat whatever the fuck you want as long as you work it off. Apparently science has uncovered the great mystery of health: try and avoid a caloric surplus and you'll be doing well. How the fuck does this make any sense? Can I drink some cyanide and work off the calories? If you're putting toxic shit into your body it's going to affect you somehow, I don't give a fuck even if you sweat most of it out of your pores - it's still going to have some negative affect on your health. Diet is far more important than excercise, and fitness and wellness are not synonyms. Luckily the personal trainers at the gym that I go to aren't really this type I'm complaining about. Luckily. Otherwise I probably wouldn't attend the gym I do, and I probably would've made a fool out of myself trying to argue with them at every possible opportunity.

I'm not trying to downplay the importance of regular excercise - otherwise I wouldn't have dropped a fucking hundredspot on a gym membership when I was far from financially stable.
You know what's fucking gnarly? Some fucking weak documentary called "Killer At Large," which offers by far the weakest "solutions" I've ever seen in any food related documentary, highlights the problem with this emphasis on excercise in American culture. Just like pharmaceutical drugs, excercise allows you to eat whatever the fuck you'd like without any obvious issues. Go ahead, be a fucking gluttonous hedonist - you can work off the calories and keep enjoying your Twinkies and Big Macs! Then you can take your fucking Prozac to balance out your miserable existence that ultimately benefits nobody other than yourself and the powers that be.

If I may leave this entry on a less serious note - I wish I knew how to skateboard so I could do that for excercise:

Entry #31: Okra

As of late I've been all about okra. Holy fuck it's delicious.
Two weeks ago I got a couple pieces of freshly picked okra from City Fresh. I ended up being short on oil and way too tired to try and bread it, so I just boiled it in water. I don't even care that it got as slimy as twat: it was fucking fantastic.
So how does this segway into my job as a produce stock clerk? I keep getting customer complaints about product quality, which is definitely an issue at many grocery stores. See, most workers just don't care that much, and it's not a priority of theirs to monitor the quality of the entire department. Back when I worked at a smaller store, I actually had to look through all the expiration dates, parole the entire department looking for bad product, and front all the perishables in the last hour of my shift. At a busier store? No fucking way we have the time to routinely look for bad product, because we're way too rushed trying to finish stocking product and filling any gaps. So who does this duty get passed onto? The morning workers who, apparently even after decades of working in produce, don't do a very neat job; the end result is tons of shit on the floor, total shit. I can't really blame the morning crew, because they're probably feeling just as rushed to fill in gaps and suck the dicks of management pigs. Of course that's when most of the work is done: in the morning before management arrives and late at night after management leaves and the shipment arrives.
So anyways, I've never seen high quality okra, because it's always blackened, spotty, and about the size of a flash drive. The okra at City Fresh was pretty nice, but just a few days ago I went to a farmers market and got some fucking ace command, fucking Top Gun okra. The okra I got is seriously longer than my flacid dick - it's fucking huge.
Four bucks for all of their okra that they picked for that day. Anybody who says farmers markets are expensive are just whiny fuckshits that buy trash quality from Wal-Mart or eat everything out of a can or microwave safe container. Farmers markets aren't expensive, and I'm fucking stoked on okra.

Entry #30: Closing the Food Gap

For my second book review I will be talking about Closing the Food Gap by Mark Winne. This is the third book I've read in the last two years that's made a huge impact on my life, after Food Politics and The Crazy Makers. The author doesn't bullshit around and even accuses other authors, such as Michael Pollan, as only appealing to an upper-class that has an expendible income to spend on better quality food. Mark Winne definitely knows what he's talking about, even though he glorifies a few regions in the Northeast and he keeps a relatively pessimistic tone throughout the entirety of the book.
This book is the first place where I ever really read extensively about "supermarket abandonment" and a more detailed explanation of how bus routes are planned. This book also was my first exposure to certain solutions to getting fresh produce to lower income citizens, such as CSAs, or community supported agricultures. Because of this book I immediately looked up online whether or not there are any CSAs nearby, and I found an organization called City Fresh. After reading about City Fresh I made sure to show up at one of their locations that's relatively nearby and now I volunteer weekly. My only peeve is that most of my fellow volunteers refer to the organization as a co-op, whereas my idea of a co-op is where its shareholders do some work either in the growing or distribution of the product - not just pay a weekly or seasonal share.
City Fresh offers such great quality produce, and all of it is from local Amish farmers - so it's also all organic. I fucking love the Amish. City Fresh is also going to start offering whole grain flower, jellies and jams, black walnuts, honey, and maple syrup - also all locally produced.
Back to the book: I hear the author is also featured in a movie called "Polycultures" that's specifically about sustainable forms of agriculture in Northeast Ohio. I definitely need to get my hands on a copy of the movie.
Even though it wasn't the book's intent, I can speak so much more clearly on why obesity is such an epidemic in low-income areas: from weakly planned bus routes, limited selection in bodegas and corner stores, supermarket abandonment and higher prices in urban areas (also worse quality produce), etc. Most of which is probably common sense, but it's all explained so eloquently in this book.
This book fucking rules, hands down. It's definitely something I'd recommend, especially to fucking science fuck yuppies who think everybody has a fair shot at health or easy access to fresh fruits and vegetables.

9.6/10

Entry #29: LeBron James

Although this entry has absolutely no relevance to vegetables directly it still relates to the produce clerk profession, because it seems the majority of grocery workers actively follow local sports - which I guess is a general blue collar hobby, since all of the white collar workers are wasting exorbitant amounts of money to get seats at the Staples Center behind Jack because they're too insecure and afraid of disappointment to root for any professional sports teams other than the Lakers or the Yankees. Local sports are at the heart of any business that supports its local workers, and local sports are also at the heart of local businesses themselves - especially when you're from a city that harbors a superstar.

Anyways, I figured I should chime in on the discussion of LeBron James. First of all, it was classless to make the decision on national television and make heated comments directed towards our city such as, "I want to celebrate something other than winning the regular season" - but what do you expect, dude is from Akron. Akron, Youngstown, Toledo: you may as well be born on a mound of dog shit while your mother's afterbirth mixes with her diarrhea she got from her fried chicken and jojos that she bought from the Wal-Mart prepared foods section. I don't expect anybody from Akron to have class - I expect them to have a child before they're out of high school. See, Cleveland isn't thought of as having any class, but its lack of class is shown more through drunken rage and any trashy acts are excused through a feeling of defeat and a nihilistic attitude.

Well, I think Chicago would've been a better choice for Lebron anyways. Bosh is overrated and LeBron and Wade are going to compete for head banana; whereas the Bulls have the youngest player with the most potential in Rose, the top rebounding team in the league last season, a great rebounder in Boozer, the ultimate roleplayer in Noah, and a fucking city that isn't horseshit. If this:



isn't playing 24 hours a day, Shaq isn't motorboating Carmen Electra's ass, and crocodiles aren't attacking nursing homes regularly - then I don't fucking care about your city, Miami.
Why the fuck did Bosh say he refused to come to Cleveland? Oh yeah, because nobody in the NBA has any fucking taste and they'd rather be down in southbeach because they're thinking about parties and beach bitches. As far as I'm concerned, if your main criteria for a city are its wealth, its relative distance to a beach, and its frequency of trashy bitches - then fuck you, you're a piece of shit.