Entry #34: 9/11

So just a few days ago a customer gave me a newspaper ad and asked about a sale. I looked to see if I could still honor the sale, but saw that the dates of the sale were September 9th through September 11th. Unfortunately the sale was over and I had to explain to the customer, and luckily the customer wasn't a total dick and didn't try arguing against it.

A few moments later I realized the humor in a sale on September 11th. Now I know the sale wasn't because of September 11th, but rather the sale had to do with football season.
I imagined how hilarious a sale centered around September 11th would be:

Shop until the towers drop!
While you're remembering America - remember to come in and buy your bananas from Costa Rica, your avocados from Mexico, and your apples from New Zealand!

There could be television commercials where some happy stick figure piloting a plane is smiling and waving as it hits a building with a huge "$2.99" marquee, and then the words "$.99 EACH" flashes across the screen in some cartoon explosion.

Shit could get totally bananas, and I'd love to see America sink so low to make any sale.
Fuck, instead of a lemonade stand I should set up an American flag stand in some public place next September 11th. I could sell tons of other shit - like red, white and blue cupcakes, and advertise them as "freedom cupcakes." I could imagine making shit mounds of money off of fat, motorized cart driving fucks. On the topic of pieces of shit, I totally saw some teabagger earlier today driving a Volkswagon - and a new one at that!
So you're totally pro-America and a total devotee to the spirit of capitalism and the free market, yet you're buying a new German car while you're living in FUCKING CLEVELAND? Cleveland has a fucking Ford plant and a Chevy plant. You're contributing to lost jobs, lost wages, lost benefits, our city's economic collapse, etc. You know, Ford used to offer wonderful benefits. For example, I remember being a kid and my dad having a choice of dozens upon dozens of optometrists who would accept my father's health insurance. What happened when I got to be a 19 year old college student? My dad's insurance only covered one optometrist in the greater Cleveland area. Nowadays every new worker getting hired in at Ford gets completely stiffed on health coverage. I'm a fucking produce guy making a third of their wages and even I get more coverage than them.
In conclusion, I would've shit on that woman's windshield if it was late at night and I wasn't apprehensive of getting caught.

As I continue to rail along tangents: speaking of teabaggers, I was watching FOX news earlier. Even though I disagree with the bulk of the opinions presented on FOX, I can sometimes respect O'Reilly and he can present reasonable arguments on certain topics (although horrible arguments on others, like food and health).
There was this story about a video of an irate volunteer meter maid down in Florida. I guess the backstory is that some woman tried to park in a spot for a second, without paying, before she decided whether or not she wanted to go in somewhere (I'm guessing she was checking the store hours or something. I could easily google the exact details, but fuck it!). The guy was a dick to her, so she sent her husband - who recorded his interactions with the meter guy on his cellphone.
I was totally shocked when FOX news actually sided with the volunteer meter guy - saying that if the couple was unhappy they should've talked a higher authority. What the fuck? Then they used an analogy saying that it's like trying to deal with hoodlums yourself instead of calling the cops. Again, what the fuck?
I've already discussed this before: you're a total dick if you're going to a "higher authority" to try and get somebody into trouble. The guy would've lost his volunteering position (even though I think he did anyway, because of the video?) if you went straight to his boss. Again, you're a piece of shit if you're trying to make somebody lose a job or position. Refer to one of my previous posts.