Entry #29: LeBron James

Although this entry has absolutely no relevance to vegetables directly it still relates to the produce clerk profession, because it seems the majority of grocery workers actively follow local sports - which I guess is a general blue collar hobby, since all of the white collar workers are wasting exorbitant amounts of money to get seats at the Staples Center behind Jack because they're too insecure and afraid of disappointment to root for any professional sports teams other than the Lakers or the Yankees. Local sports are at the heart of any business that supports its local workers, and local sports are also at the heart of local businesses themselves - especially when you're from a city that harbors a superstar.

Anyways, I figured I should chime in on the discussion of LeBron James. First of all, it was classless to make the decision on national television and make heated comments directed towards our city such as, "I want to celebrate something other than winning the regular season" - but what do you expect, dude is from Akron. Akron, Youngstown, Toledo: you may as well be born on a mound of dog shit while your mother's afterbirth mixes with her diarrhea she got from her fried chicken and jojos that she bought from the Wal-Mart prepared foods section. I don't expect anybody from Akron to have class - I expect them to have a child before they're out of high school. See, Cleveland isn't thought of as having any class, but its lack of class is shown more through drunken rage and any trashy acts are excused through a feeling of defeat and a nihilistic attitude.

Well, I think Chicago would've been a better choice for Lebron anyways. Bosh is overrated and LeBron and Wade are going to compete for head banana; whereas the Bulls have the youngest player with the most potential in Rose, the top rebounding team in the league last season, a great rebounder in Boozer, the ultimate roleplayer in Noah, and a fucking city that isn't horseshit. If this:



isn't playing 24 hours a day, Shaq isn't motorboating Carmen Electra's ass, and crocodiles aren't attacking nursing homes regularly - then I don't fucking care about your city, Miami.
Why the fuck did Bosh say he refused to come to Cleveland? Oh yeah, because nobody in the NBA has any fucking taste and they'd rather be down in southbeach because they're thinking about parties and beach bitches. As far as I'm concerned, if your main criteria for a city are its wealth, its relative distance to a beach, and its frequency of trashy bitches - then fuck you, you're a piece of shit.