Entry #4: Grapes

Grapes possibly attract some of the most obnoxious, self important customers. The customers that want grapes are hardly ever "right," and it's pretty certain that they have runny shit for tastebuds. There's nothing worth $1.29/lb about grapes, unless you're going to freeze them and use them as icecubes or you're an ancient Roman emperor and you have that shit fed to you while you lounge.
Customers constantly are bugging about grapes. They want fewer grapes than what's in the bag; call the whambulance. I could eat an entire bag of grapes in a single sitting, so I don't see what the problem is in trying to eat all of them before they go bad; not only does it take a long time for grapes to go bad, not only are they one of the most fun fruits to eat (throwing them and trying to catch them in your mouth like M&Ms) - but they're relatively healthy for you and you should be eating more of them throughout all of those servings.
Customers will ask you to give them fewer grapes, or will do it themselves, and put them in one of those bags spread throughout the produce department. Half of the time they'll second guess spending two fucking dollars or whatever, and throw them somewhere like ontop of the romaine lettuce or in some random, unrefridgerated place. Well guess what, shitface? Now that you didn't buy them, it's highly unlikely somebody else will when they're in some unmarked bag that they probably think we jerked off inside (since we're thieving, minimum-wage low-lives, remember?). Who the fuck cares if they're in some unmarked bag? Obviously the customers.

I wish we could just have grapevines magically growing inside the grocery store, so those pisspukes could pick their own god damn grapes. Chances are people would still find some way to bitch that there's too much.