Entry #30: Closing the Food Gap

For my second book review I will be talking about Closing the Food Gap by Mark Winne. This is the third book I've read in the last two years that's made a huge impact on my life, after Food Politics and The Crazy Makers. The author doesn't bullshit around and even accuses other authors, such as Michael Pollan, as only appealing to an upper-class that has an expendible income to spend on better quality food. Mark Winne definitely knows what he's talking about, even though he glorifies a few regions in the Northeast and he keeps a relatively pessimistic tone throughout the entirety of the book.
This book is the first place where I ever really read extensively about "supermarket abandonment" and a more detailed explanation of how bus routes are planned. This book also was my first exposure to certain solutions to getting fresh produce to lower income citizens, such as CSAs, or community supported agricultures. Because of this book I immediately looked up online whether or not there are any CSAs nearby, and I found an organization called City Fresh. After reading about City Fresh I made sure to show up at one of their locations that's relatively nearby and now I volunteer weekly. My only peeve is that most of my fellow volunteers refer to the organization as a co-op, whereas my idea of a co-op is where its shareholders do some work either in the growing or distribution of the product - not just pay a weekly or seasonal share.
City Fresh offers such great quality produce, and all of it is from local Amish farmers - so it's also all organic. I fucking love the Amish. City Fresh is also going to start offering whole grain flower, jellies and jams, black walnuts, honey, and maple syrup - also all locally produced.
Back to the book: I hear the author is also featured in a movie called "Polycultures" that's specifically about sustainable forms of agriculture in Northeast Ohio. I definitely need to get my hands on a copy of the movie.
Even though it wasn't the book's intent, I can speak so much more clearly on why obesity is such an epidemic in low-income areas: from weakly planned bus routes, limited selection in bodegas and corner stores, supermarket abandonment and higher prices in urban areas (also worse quality produce), etc. Most of which is probably common sense, but it's all explained so eloquently in this book.
This book fucking rules, hands down. It's definitely something I'd recommend, especially to fucking science fuck yuppies who think everybody has a fair shot at health or easy access to fresh fruits and vegetables.

9.6/10

Entry #29: LeBron James

Although this entry has absolutely no relevance to vegetables directly it still relates to the produce clerk profession, because it seems the majority of grocery workers actively follow local sports - which I guess is a general blue collar hobby, since all of the white collar workers are wasting exorbitant amounts of money to get seats at the Staples Center behind Jack because they're too insecure and afraid of disappointment to root for any professional sports teams other than the Lakers or the Yankees. Local sports are at the heart of any business that supports its local workers, and local sports are also at the heart of local businesses themselves - especially when you're from a city that harbors a superstar.

Anyways, I figured I should chime in on the discussion of LeBron James. First of all, it was classless to make the decision on national television and make heated comments directed towards our city such as, "I want to celebrate something other than winning the regular season" - but what do you expect, dude is from Akron. Akron, Youngstown, Toledo: you may as well be born on a mound of dog shit while your mother's afterbirth mixes with her diarrhea she got from her fried chicken and jojos that she bought from the Wal-Mart prepared foods section. I don't expect anybody from Akron to have class - I expect them to have a child before they're out of high school. See, Cleveland isn't thought of as having any class, but its lack of class is shown more through drunken rage and any trashy acts are excused through a feeling of defeat and a nihilistic attitude.

Well, I think Chicago would've been a better choice for Lebron anyways. Bosh is overrated and LeBron and Wade are going to compete for head banana; whereas the Bulls have the youngest player with the most potential in Rose, the top rebounding team in the league last season, a great rebounder in Boozer, the ultimate roleplayer in Noah, and a fucking city that isn't horseshit. If this:



isn't playing 24 hours a day, Shaq isn't motorboating Carmen Electra's ass, and crocodiles aren't attacking nursing homes regularly - then I don't fucking care about your city, Miami.
Why the fuck did Bosh say he refused to come to Cleveland? Oh yeah, because nobody in the NBA has any fucking taste and they'd rather be down in southbeach because they're thinking about parties and beach bitches. As far as I'm concerned, if your main criteria for a city are its wealth, its relative distance to a beach, and its frequency of trashy bitches - then fuck you, you're a piece of shit.

Entry #28: Corn

Corn is one of the shittiest things in nature. If corn played in an organized sporting event against mosquitos, flesh eating disease, AIDs, dick cheese, jealousy, and the LA Lakers I'd be pretty hard-pressed to decide who I'd favor. I almost feel as though there's some conspiracy theory behind Native Americans gifting us their precious grain: maybe they knew the level of misuse and abuse would be so obtuse with the white man and they'd ultimately destroy themselves with maize-mania.
Why do I dislike corn so much? Well, first of all it doesn't even taste that fucking good and it's typical "meat and potato" macho male fare. So many fat fucking dudes with Budweiser-stained NFL shirts come in and dig the fuck out of the corn, throwing ears all over the fucking place searching for "good ones." Guess what? Corn is 10 for $2, that's $.20 a piece. Who gives a fuck whether or not the ear is a millimeter longer or looks slightly thicker? Chances are you're just going to drench it in butter or put it in your mashed potatoes and turkey - it's not like you're going to taste much of its exquisite flavor or differentiate between one ear or another.
Corn fucking sucks because of the farm bill, and the fact that it's heavily subsidized so farmers grow corn instead of other, better products. The end result is type 2 corn being grown and sold to make things like additives, preservatives, HFCS, etc. at a cheap price, and companies trying to extend their usage of corn byproducts. This is not fucking good - at all.
You know why else corn sucks? Third world countries indebted to the World Bank grow genetically engineered corn (along with specialty products) specifically for the world market and to sell to first world countries - instead of being able to concern themselves with sustenence farming. Instead big fucking America and its big fucking technological "advancements" march in and shit GMO corn fields across the landscape - when other grains would fare much better in drier areas, regardless of how fucking much they modify the corn seeds in a laboratory.
Corn has its large, yellow-and-white bulbous dick down Mother Nature's throat. Fuck corn, fuck the people who buy it, and fuck how much it sells.

Entry #27: "Conflicting Interests"

I'm well aware that I have absolutely no readers, so apologizing for a long gap between entries (and the low quality of more recent entries) is totally unnecessary - but I still feel obligated to apologize for how infrequently I post nowadays.
I have lots of shit tied up at the moment. I started working on my own tabletop RPG, I've been hanging out with friends more often, I'm considering starting a comic strip, and most importantly - I'm going to plan on driving again and having my own car for the first time in over 2 years. One problem is that driving would mean a couple hundred more dollars I'd have to spend monthly, and it really makes me consider taking a second job. The larger problem is that it seems in no way whatsoever could my second job be something I actually fucking enjoy, because of the simple corporate idea of "conflicting interest." I can't work at any other grocery retailer, I'm limited in working for any food distributers, samplers, gas stations, or health food stores. If my second job, in any way, appears to benefit another grocery retailer then it will ultimately lead to me choosing one job or the other.
This pisses me the fuck off. I found a craigslist listing about a job sampling organic foods: this shit would be totally boss. If I sampled organic foods, chances are I'd be learning about products and I could apply that information to my personal life and my job in produce. I would be paid to engage in conversation with people about foods that I'd probably eat myself - just like in produce. The whole issue of "conflicting interests" in this case was questionable, because I wouldn't be working for any one specific store - rather I'd be traveling between grocers in the Cleveland and Akron areas. The pay would rule, the title would rule, and the level and nature of my customer interaction would rule.
But guess fucking what? Apparently corporate considers the job "conflicting interests" and bars me off from applying for this second job. See, I understand the concept of "conflicting interests:" if you're engaged in your company's sales then it would cancel out if you're supporting a competitor simultaneously. The major flaw in this logic is, though: I don't give a fuck about my company's interests. It's not as though I purposely try and undermine my store's sales, but I get absolutely nothing concrete out of caring. On an abstract level, you could argue that if the store had higher sales then there would be more hours available for every department - which is false, my particular store being a shining example on the contrary. The store manager at my particular store gives out as many hours to the produce department as similar stores that make 40 grand less every week. Hours are entirely at the whim of the store manager and his/her degree of greediness. If he/she feels that he/she can get a larger bonus based upon how few hours he/she hands out without compromising the store's sales and that bonus - then it's based entirely on whether or not the store manager wants to help out his/her employees or would rather opt being a greedy dickhole.
You know, if I was a store manager I would care about the "best interests of the company" (although profits shouldn't be the only interests) - but I'm not a store manager, or any manager for that matter. I go to my job and do it well, without any vocal complaints or problems: this is all that should be asked. I'm not a fucking salesperson, I don't sense any sort of communal connection to my store, and I'm not doing cheers or chants like if I was working at Wal-Mart. Fuck this shit so hard. I was so stoked on possibly getting this second job.

So when I asked the woman working in human relations I informed her that the job would most likely be sampling through places like Whole Foods, Zagaras, and Mustard Seed. I noted that it would more than likely not have any sort of affiliation with Trader Joes. So guess what? When she comes back to tell me that the job would be "conflicting interests" according to corporate, she pointed out that it's possible I could be affiliated with Trader Joes. Did you not fucking listen? Is it because I'm some uneducated produce guy? Derp derp? Have you ever even been in a Trader Joes, or even more surprisingly - has anybody that talked to you from corporate ever been in a Trader Joes? The employees there do everything from cashiering and stocking, and more than likely the sampling; yes, the samplers are in-store workers and not paid through any separate employer. Not only that, but the majority of products in Trader Joes are store brand - and therefor aren't products that would be sampled at multiple different grocers.

What irks me about the concept of "conflicting interests" is its shortsightedness and its simplicity. You know, the customer base at my workplace is definitely not the same customer base as Whole Foods. You're ignorant as fuck if you think that shoppers at Whole Foods are thinking, "Oh man, I wonder if _______ has this product - I'll definitely pay less to go somewhere with a far worse organic, animal-friendly, and gluten-free selection and much lower quality products!" If the customers have the money to shop at places like Whole Foods or Mustard Seed, they're obviously going to either for quality or their organic selections - things of which my company could never compare. Hell, my workplace doesn't even carry tempeh or seitan - let alone tons of other common specialty products. You know, I was talking to managers at my old location and I asked them about the Super Wal-Mart that opened and whether or not it hurt the store's sales - apparently the loss in sales was less than 5%. Less than 5%, from fucking Super Wal-Mart.

There are definitely three main customer bases: people who want shit dirt cheap who don't care whatsoever about its quality, customers who want to shop at a pro-union workplace that supports local businesses, and customers who have the money to buy whatever the fuck they want and just care about quality or their health. My workplace definitely fits into the second category. Whole Foods isn't any more of a threat than Wal-Mart is.

But no, shit has to be boiled down to the simple idea of "conflicting interests" and just as long as something can be categorized as another grocery retailer or in any way affiliated with one - regardless of vast differences in customer bases, quality, or selection - then it's barred off. Thank you corporate for not knowing fuck about anything.

Entry #26: Attractive Women

My workplace happens to be in a wealthier area, so it's very often that attractive middle-aged women and trendy girls in their twenties shop at my grocery store - at least those who aren't picking up hummus and clif bars from Trader Joes. I will say that I'm not actively on the prowl or expecting to talk to any of these women - because I have a wonderful girlfriend who I'd never want to betray. I'm sure she could accept me appreciating somebody's physical attractiveness if I'm not hooting and making grabbing motions in the air like I'm squeezing tits.
Anyways, there are things that a 9 or 10 can do that will instantly make them a 5 in my book - almost in some Seinfeldian, observational nitpicking on my part. Most of the things that they do are things I've mentioned in older posts, especially those having to do with fucking bananas (not literally fucking bananas, I'm using fucking as an adjective).

1) Banana rippers. If you're an attractive woman and you pick up a big fucking bunch of bananas and rip off a single banana and place it back - you're instantly plummeting on the physical attractiveness meter. If I was ever single again and I was in bed with a banana ripper, I would feel like I'm shoving my dick in a huge mound of manure. More than likely I would be spitting on her in my head, and I'd probably go out of my way to make the sex messy and demeaning. I can't take banana rippers seriously. On the other hand, if you kindly walk over and pick up a bunch immediately where I placed my last bunch, make a comment or appology, and not rip off a single banana *swoon*.
2) iceberg lettuce/salad purchasers. A girl can't be attractive if she's boring and she eats iceberg. Plain and simple.
3) Women who don't know how to cook. This almost sounds sexist, but I'm definitely not going for that angle. both men and women should aspire to learn how to cook well, fuck anybody who says otherwise. If you're coming in and asking me for cooking advice, you exhibit any sort of ignorance of fruits/vegetables, or you're buying incredibly boring products (iceberg, baby cut carrots, tomatoes, etc.) then you're immediately dropping to average or below.

Entry #25: Job Security

Some of the biggest assholes alive are customers who sincerely believe that by purposely being careless and leaving extra work for you to do that they're ensuring you're not bored and you're looking busy for management. I've heard people refer to this loosely as giving us job security.
Why is this total shit? Because you're treating your workers like they enjoy wiping your ass. Do people purposely shit on the restroom floor when they're out so the janitors/porters have job security? Do seniors in retirement homes cock a fucking smile and shit their pants whenever their caretakers walk in the room in the name of job security? Do I go into your office job and start throwing around papers and jumping on your desk like a fucking orangutan, then tell you "don't worry, I'm giving you job security"?

I'm sure that even without people acting like children and not returning things to their proper places that I'd still have enough to keep me busy at work. People act like it's some sort of joke, "oh, sorry about ruining your display;" I have a fucking box that I'm actively grabbing shit from, why don't you just grab from my box, save me work, and get something fresher than what's already on the shelves! You're not cute, and neither are your friendly jokes.

Entry #24: Garden Pt.1

Life right now rules pretty fucking hard, aside from feeling like such an outsider and questioning my financial future. I'm just now trying to overcome the initial efforts of my first life goal: my feet are figurately getting wet. My major "goal" in life is to learn to feed and sustain myself, without the use of any fossil fuels and without any outside help. My first obstacle will be gardening, followed by finding a guide to teach me how to forage, and then possibly learning how to hunt (preferably without a gun) and then kill and dress an animal.

My parents have allowed me to use a plot of their land at our house in Medina that has around 3 acres. I've decided I want to grow perennials, and then possibly try and cultivate a small permaculture once I've gotten the hang of everything; I figure perennials would allow me to work a little less and experiment with more non-conventional fruits and vegetables.

Just in the last week I spent a few hours turning over soil:

I'm sure it could look better, and I'm unsure if I made any dire mistakes. For one, I had to use my shovel to loosen up the soil (instead of something more effective like a pitchfork), and for two I accidently dug near tree roots in a few areas (near the far left on all three rows, and near the far right on the closest row).
I'm going to wait two weeks before I plant anything, so I hopefully have sufficient time to find a seed supplier (probably online) and get something shipped. Ideally I would form nearby connections and get my seeds locally, but I'm taking a slight shortcut for the lack of time I have left before I have to plant. Possibly I may plant annuals in the closest row if I have problems attaining enough seeds or I don't have enough ideas come crunch time, if anything - arugula or eggplant. Right now I'm looking at planting a nice breeds of dandelion and boxthorn/goji.

Such a boring entry to anybody other than me, more than likely - but I'm so fucking happy that I'm moving on my first major goal. I worked my ass off for how inexperienced I am, and I have blisters on right hand.

I'm just slightly perturbed because gardening may again be something where I'm a fucking pariah and it's near impossible for me to get advice that's relevant to my intentions and ideals. It's already that way with medicine, organic food, sex, science, and various other topics - and it's horseshit. While at the Mustard Seed I asked a dude for advice on what to plant for fixing nitrogen into the soil, and whether or not runner-beans are perennials (or if there were any perennial seeds available in the store's selection). The produce dudes there were helpful as fuck, but they couldn't give me a proper answer and decided to call a guy who has a reputation for being a good gardener and works at another location. When I tried to explain myself I sounded incredibly amateurish (as I admittedly am on this topic), and said something along the lines of how I want a self sustaining garden. The guy laughed and said something to the extent of, "that's what all gardeners would want - but it'll never happen. Everybody has to treat their gardens with something." However, the guy's countenance on the phone was more patronizing or condescending than it was friendly and jocular. He was telling me how I'll need to get organic fertilizers and I'll need to add things to my soil like seakelp.

This shit pissed me off and confuses me. Agriculture has been around for a long time, and I'm guessing that centuries ago farmers weren't awaiting their overseas shipment of seakelp. I don't see why it's so radical or taboo for me to want nothing from an offsite source. Granted I don't have a farm, and I don't have animals producing manure - the garden itself is in a rural area, and I could get manure from local sources if I struck charismatic gold and befriended a helpful farmer. Honestly though, I'm going to try and mulch using recycled newspaper or cardboard boxes from my work - and I plan on starting a compost.

I don't see how reliance upon store bought products or offsite materials is the only option; the reason why I want to learn to feed myself is incase we reach peak oil or there's a massive food system collapse, in which case I don't think it's feasible for me to get in a car and use oil (that isn't there) to go buy a product that isn't made onsite (and is thereby shipped using oil) and probably wouldn't even be available.

Apparently Mother Nature uses a fuckload of oil, driving here and there and getting shit shipped to her to enrich her soil. Bull fucking shit. I eventually want to imitate nature, not rely upon shit that's not even geographically logical.

I feel too afraid to ask for any sort of advice, because I'm afraid everybody is either going to advocate synthetic fertilizers or they're all going to laugh at me, like fucking Carrie.

Aside from the garden, I just got a juicer and started juicing, and I started creating the framework for a fruit and veggie themed tabletop RPG.